Marriage Reality for Children #2

To help children cope with false ideas about marriage offered to them by teachers, peers, and friends, it is good to always reinforce that marriage is a choice that mom and dad made to become irreplaceable each other to receive them as a gift. But also compassionately reflect on children living without their moms and dads united in marriage and what it is like. This is important for children being raised by single parents or adoptive parents as well. Children know reality, especially when some one is missing. It is always good to acknowledge that.

Our children are exposed to other children in all kinds of family situations where privation of a mom or dad is celebrated rather than recognized as a misfortune. Increasingly they will be taught that these are normal situations and it is an indication of prejudice to believe otherwise. 

Chances are, sooner rather than later, your children will discover some kids have two moms or two dads, or they will be forced to read a book about it in school. This is delicate because disapproval of the parents’ lifestyle can lead to hurtful comments toward their children who deserve love and respect.

One strategy might be to explain we know everybody has a mother and father, so we also know these children have lost one or both through some misfortune. They probably wonder at night, where’s my mom or where’s my dad, but they don’t like to talk about it because it may make them feel sad and they don’t want to make their parents feel badly. Their parents are friends who love them and they love their parents.

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